I have come to realise over the years that the more unique you are, be it intelligent, artistic, creative, wise, articulate, spiritual, successful, or whatever stands you apart from the norm, the harder it is to find that elusive best set of friends. In the busy demanding world we live in, it has become even more difficult just to make that regular special connection that good friends want and need. Then there is the propensity for everyone to be actively encouraged from every form of social conditioning, that it is not only OK but expected for each of us to think selfishly.

I believe that we all have our own unique energy vibration and those who belong to our soul group carry the same or very similar vibration to us. That’s why we can walk past thousands of people and not even be drawn enough to look into the eyes of any of them, and yet you can find that one who catches your attention across a crowded room. So it stands to reason that the more unique you are, that there will be fewer people that match your vibration, and finding that best friend becomes even harder than normal.

I belong to an online group of business ladies, and the other day I read a post from a lady which really got me thinking. She had just turned 40 and had organised a weekend away with a group of her girlfriends. She had organised a wine tasting tour for them to do, however this time, even the half who did drink, decided not to take part in the wine tasting with her. At lunch they split into two groups and despite it being a big ‘special’ birthday for her, she didn’t feel they tried to make her feel even slightly special.

She was so disappointed at her friends behaviour and yet one of her ‘friends’ who had asked her to take a holiday with her at Christmas, in the week following her birthday was calling to make plans for the holiday. Even though she wasn’t really that interested in going herself, she had said yes for the sake of her friend, but now she was asking this group if it was it okay to say no, after the birthday fiasco. She assured everyone that no tickets had been purchased, or accomodation booked. The answer was overwhelmingly for her to absolutely say no.

I myself had only recently experienced a similar disappointment with the behaviour of someone I believed was a good friend of mine, which had caused me to ponder the expectations we have of our closest friends. It was clear to me and this lady, that the way our friends had treated us, was not how we would have behaved if we were interacting with them. It caused me to acknowledge that everyone can only behave according to their own level of development, abilities, maturity and soul. To expect any more from somebody is unrealistic, because you cannot give what you do not possess.

It occurred to me that we are all responsible for our own happiness, and we are all here to master our own certain lessons. I think if you are lucky enough to have found a good best friend who is actually in your life to help you and you to help them with achieving our life lessons then you will probably never have the same kind of disappointments that we did. However if you have friends who perhaps aren’t here for that reason, don’t judge, get angry or get even for any perceived wrong doings, just place your own happiness back where it firmly belongs….in your own hands.

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