There is so much more to us than how we look

We have be sold the lie that how we look, means just about everything. Single women commonly think how they look hinges on if they will find a partner in life and young girls know how good they look in a selfie, equates to how good they feel about themselves. Even dating second time round after divorce, finds women being complimented with you have a nice bum, or I love your long hair don’t ever cut it, rather than comments like you are such an intelligent and nice person, I really have fun spending time with you.

Since very young children, we innately know that even if you are the prettiest girl in school, if you are a total bitch, nobody will want to hang around with you; and yet we have been programmed through advertising, movies, marketing and media, that the opposite is true. It just illustrates how we can be manipulated to think a certain way when told often enough, by industries that claim to be honest and authorities, and forget what used to be common sense and what we ‘knew ‘to be true.

I read an article about a young Canadian instagram model (wayofgray), who had lost a staggering 70,000 followers, because she announced recently that she would no longer post pictures of herself in a bikini or showing her abs! ( ) She declared to her followers that

“having a six pack and thigh gap does not make you happy. Pizza and cookies are f##king delicious. And I am sick of women being told they have to be anything other than themselves to be happy.”

Despite loosing so many followers, Sophie Gray stuck to her decision, claiming that she was now much happier; because previously she had felt inadequate as a person, because everything revolved around those pictures! Even though she had been in the #fitspo industry for three years, she was constantly worrying about her body so much, that she had forgotten how to just enjoy being young, in love and happy. She could see form the responses to certain pictures of herself, what her followers wanted, fitter, thinner, more defined and ‘perfect’. Everybody is unique and so what is perfect? It’s an unrealistic, largely unattainable goal, that has been thrust on women to look a certain way, or feel bad about their body image if they don’t, or dare not to conform.

I have seen Australian ‘Plus sized’ model La’Tecia Thomas, appear in a number of reports recently, talking again about a woman and her body image. This girl had been a size 6 in the past, but to be that size she had to starve herself and work out all the time! Why should anybody have to do that? To look at this young girl, she was absolutely gorgeous, with the prettiest hair, face, eyes, skin and she has beautiful voluptuous curves of a size 16 woman.

She had recently been signed by a US modelling agency and was looking forward to a career OS, but not without the criticism of the brainwashed masses. This girl worked out regularly, in fact she really enjoyed it, but it did not change her shape from a curvy girl, into a skinny girl. How could it, when your shape is determined by your DNA?

Both these young girls have seen how destructive it is to be constantly striving for a perfect body and have loudly proclaimed that they are not going to do it anymore. Let’s hope that other women take on their example and add their voices and actions to a world which is more inclusive of the huge variety of shapes and looks that women have. Perhaps if we embrace our own uniqueness more, friends and prospective partners will have to take the time to find out how beautiful we are on the inside and in our own unique ways, while remembering the old saying ‘you cant judge a book by it’s cover’.

Viva the differences that make us unique!

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