Are Bullies Narcissists in the Making?
Last week I wrote a post on surviving living with a narcissist. Today I was hearing a discussion about bullying, and programs to prevent it. The thought occurred to me that there may be a link between bullying behaviour and becoming a narcissist. Or is a bully, merely the name we give to a young narcissist?
Having learn't about the characteristics of a narcissist, it seems to me, that they may indeed be one in the same. I would love to see a scientific study done which finds answers to questions like are bullies predominately men or women and the percentage; if we were to apply the same test to identify a narcissist to bullies, would their qualities be the same, and what can be done with this type of behaviour disorder to improve it? This is a scientific research that our government should be encouraging, so the rest of the population does not have to endure their cruelty and domination.
My own children all experienced bullying to varying degrees, as does the majority of students at some time in their schooling. This drove me to think a LOT about bullying and how to handle and prevent it. Many of us have experienced bullying either at home, at school, at work, at sport or even when deciding to vaccinate ourselves and our children; which in Australia has become all but mandatory.
While being bullied is terrible to endure, and can cause a lot of emotional stress and self esteem issues which can follow us through life; it does not holt our lives. Most of us have the resilience to push on and endure to somehow get through, despite this difficult experience. However for many more sensitive people, being bullied can literally be a life sentence. It effects their confidence, self esteem, educational opportunities, their ability to concentrate and focus and to believe in a brighter future.
The effects of being bullied in severe cases, can make it difficult and sadly sometimes impossible to move on from. These are the people, who like the most recent case of Amy 'Dolly' Everett, cannot face another day of misery in a seemingly never ending flow of cruelty, that we the people have failed to stop. As a result of my own children's experience with bullying, I finally came up with what I believe to be the answer to stop bullying. It occurred to me that it is extremely difficult to change what seems to me to be a personality disorder in an afflicted individual.
Trying to change their behaviour, so far has not worked; so I came up with the idea of turning the problem on it's head. Instead of attempting to stop the minority of bullies, why not focus on what we can control, the strength of the majority of good people to work together, to circumvent the actions of the bully. So I made an animation called "Let's turn bullying on it's head". You can watch it on youtube or by clicking on the link here.
Even though I designed this with school aged students in mind, it soon became apparent, that this same scenario applies equally well to adults experiencing bullying at work, in our communities, in our countries and in the world! What is required, is to change the culture of the good people, to not cower and live in fear of bullies, but to realise that together we have the numbers to put an end to bullying. The majority of good, kind people vastly outnumber the minority of bullies. If we act together as a whole, by having each others backs and speaking up, we can put an end to the bullies tyranny, through solidarity and concern for humanity. I believe that stamping out bullying requires a cultural change, where we can understand that good people have the numbers, to say NO to bullying behaviour. (When making the animation I was working in a small school, and I used the numbers that applied to that particular school; but obviously it was only used as a way of showing the imbalance of numbers that can apply to any size of population)
This just as easily extrapolates to the women's movement. We represent approximately half of the worlds population and if we all stand up and speak up together for women's rights all over the world, we can make things change. The Suffragettes did when they fought for women to get the right to vote, so we have actual proof that when we come together in solidarity, that we can change just about anything. We have the ability by changing our mindset, to one that builds up and supports each other in all aspects of life, so that one day soon women all over the world will be treated as equals to men and given the same opportunities as men, to share our gifts and talents with the world.
'Power to all good people of the world.
We have the numbers,
We hate bullies
Together "Let's Turn Bullying On It's Head"