Are You Being Groomed by A Scammer?


Anyone who has made a recent foray into the online world of dating, will have almost certainly come across at least one scammer. This year I declared to the Universe that I was going to have more fun! Having been busy with family responsibilities, building and working on the Wonderous Women website and working to pay the bills, this had not been a big priority for me for quite some time.

Online dating scams

So I joined some meet up groups to get myself out and about, and a close friend inspired me to step into the online dating scene, after what seemed to be a reasonable level of success with her own dating experiences meeting some nice men, whom she would have not otherwise crossed paths with in her own walk of life. Be aware that these scammers do not always come just from dating sites. One contacted me on Me We, through a friends request, others may come through Facebook for example wanting to friend you. Well since I made a profile in early February and have tried three different dating sites, I can sadly report that I have managed to be found and groomed by a total of six online Scammers! I feel that luckily I am a person who recognises patterns quite easily, and I also have great intuition; but despite these two very helpful attributes, it is still easy to be hooked into their web of lies. Most women hope, that one day they may actually find a man you would want to spend the rest of your life with and so despite our intuition (if your anything like me) we want to give them the benefit of the doubt, all the time while laying little traps that might trip them up and expose them for who you suspect they are. You hang in there until you are completely convinced, because let’s face it, finding a man who seems to be very close to what you have been hoping to meet, is a hard thing to walk away from.

We have all heard of scammers So like me, you would have to be like an ostrich with it’s head in the sand, to have not heard at least a few of the current affair programs exposing the lucrative ‘businesses’ that these scammers run. They show them sitting in offices filled with fellow scammers, with their computer and phones, having their daily meetings to come up with more and more elaborate scenarios. Finally we see them analysing where their latest story fell over, and coming up with responses would counter that problem in the future, to an unsuspecting potential victim. Sickening I know! So when the inevitable plea for money comes, most of us know straight away that it is at least a possible scam. But If I don’t have a lot of money, they aren’t going to get much out of me, I can hear some of you thinking. But here’s the wake up call ladies, money is not the only thing they are after. Maybe you never feel like a scammer will ever get money from you, because you are too smart and ‘onto them’; but they may be getting something far more valuable! YOUR IDENTITY, and the effects of this crime can be far reaching and life altering! One of the first signs that a person you are talking to online is a scammer, is that they will ‘suggest’ that you should quite early on change from the dating site (where they are vigilantly trying to pick up the online scammers themselves and deleting them) to a chatting site like 'Hangouts', which is run by Google and so sounds reputable. It sounds legitimate enough, as it also allows you to exchange pictures, which the dating sites do not. A logical woman might think that seeing a picture (selfie) might be a good way for her to verify for herself, if this man she is chatting with is actually the same nice looking man whose pictures were in his online profile. A bit of smart detective work you may think, so she agrees and off it goes, now you are on your own with nobody checking.

Identity Scams These scammers are not only trying to get your money, little amounts at a time; but are also potentially building up an identity profile OF YOU! Your likes, dislikes, personal details and now a set of multiple ‘gifted’ pictures of you and possibly your family or friends, and even your pet! However the cruelest and most evil thing about this scam is that they are taking the only true thing that matters in this world, LOVE, and messing with peoples hearts. Most every person who goes online to find a potential new partner, has already had their heart broken or a relationship breakdown. Having finally got to a place ready to put themselves out there once more, they are now bombarded with these people (disguising as men or women), eager to exploit our human need for love and connection. In a nutshell their profile will probably look much like this: Foreign or if living here (supposedly) born in a foreign country, good looking, tall, slim, stylish, widowed and well educated with an impressive job (Engineer is a particular favourite)! You can copy their picture or drag and drop it into Google images search, to find out where that picture has been used elsewhere on the internet and perhaps a real identity (this did not show up anything for me, but it might for others).

As the old saying goes, if it sounds too good to be true , it probably is! Sign up as a free member of Wonderous Women and get your free 28 point checklist of ‘How To Recognise A Scammer’ and please let your friends or family who are online dating know, so they can do the same. Consider this a sisterhood service so we can stop this insidious profession in it’s tracks!

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